The More Things Change v3
by Red Horseman
Summary: Asuka learns how much Tokyo 3 has remained the same since she'd left. She also learns how much has changed when she runs into a certain bluehaired woman.
1. Time Heals

Neon Genesis Evangelion

The More Things Change

Chapter 1: Time Heals All Wounds

By the Red Horseman

Pre-read by Weltall Elite

- - - - - - - - -

March 2026, United States of America

_"Get that bastard!"_

_"Someone quickly call an ambulance!"_

_"Look at all that blood!"_

_"You think she'll make it?"_

"I'm alive?"

That was all Asuka could say as she slowly opened her eyes and tried to sit up. Groaning, she gave up on that endeavor when her body refused to move. Her mood didn't improve when she finally got around to surveying her surroundings. She was in the last place she ever wanted to be in, the hospital. However, she realized that she hadn't really had a choice in the matter. Still now that she was awake and coherent, she was going to correct it. Yet, her body again failed her when she tried throwing off her covers.

"You really shouldn't be moving, Miss Soryu."

The redhead whipped her head around, her blue eyes narrowing at the intruder's voice. She weakly smiled at her overreaction at recognizing one of the men entering her room. Of course, the machines would've alerted the nurses' station to any change in her condition. Still the sudden appearance of her doctor was perplexing, especially since she had just woken. Which meant that he'd been making his rounds and been close by when he had been alerted. However, none of that mattered to the young woman.

What concerned her was the other person that had followed the doctor into the room. He was maybe five years older, athletic, and average in appearance. The major negative was the black and silver uniform of a police officer. The man noticed her inquisitive stare and gave her a small smile, which didn't reassure Asuka. Seeing her reaction, the officer slowly strode to her bedside and sat in a nearby chair.

"I'm Detective Peter Frager." He pulled out his credentials and allowed her to look at them. "I want to ask you some questions concerning the events that occurred three days ago, Miss Soryu?" he asked in a soothing voice.

Asuka's eyes widened at that. "It's been three days?"

"That is correct. Now it would be very helpful if you could tell me what happened." He leaned forward and stared into her eyes. "You do remember what happened?"

"Well, I had gone to the club 'Paradigm' to try and relax," she began.

Her tale started out slowly as she told him about how she'd overheard one of her coworkers recommending the club. She spoke of how she'd decided to try it after an extremely difficult day. Asuka explained that she had turned down a few offers to dance, wanting only to be alone. Her voice wavered when she remembered the events after she had exited the women's restroom. The tight grip on her upper arm, the loud drunken voice of the man holding her commanding her to be quiet were all quite clear as was her reaction.

"I resisted and punched him, which allowed me to break free. Yet as I ran back into the main room I felt something impact my shoulder and then… my lower back." Asuka looked up at the doctor, who nodded solemnly.

"You were shot three times with a small caliber pistol," the physician confirmed. "One shot broke your left collarbone hence the cast. The second round barely missed your left kidney. The third shot fractured the upper region of your pelvic bone." Asuka's doctor went silent at the horror on his patient's face. "Sorry, I thought you would want to know…"

"Who was he?" Asuka quietly asked.

"Steven Edwards, a contractor for a local business conglomerate. His wife, who you happen to look similar to, had recently left him. From his confession, he first noticed you about three months ago in a market." Detective Frager glanced down at his notes. "He didn't do anything until he saw you again, and just after he had received a letter from his ex-wife's lawyer. It was then that he started following you and taking pictures. We also learned he lost his job the same day he assaulted you."

"What's going to happen?" Asuka interrupted.

"He's being held without bail on the charges of attempted kidnapping, attempted rape, and attempted murder." He glanced at the young woman, but she wasn't making eye contact. "If everything goes smoothly the trial could be in…"

"Please, leave me alone."

"Miss Soryu?"

"I just want to be alone for the moment, okay. You've thrown a lot of information at me and I need to come to terms with it." She briefly looked up. "We'll be in contact once I'm released, so please just leave."

"Of course, Miss Soryu," the doctor acquiesced, lightly touching the officer's shoulder. "By the way, you have a visitor…"

"I don't want to see anyone," she tersely told the two.

"I think you should, they've waited patiently for you to wake."

"Fine."

Asuka turned on her uninjured side and stared at the far wall, not bothering to watch the two men exit. She tried to keep her breathing even and slow when she heard the door open again and footsteps approach her bed. The sound of a moving chair sent her heart start racing and her to search her memory. She knew no one that would bother to visit her, even if they knew about her hospitalization. Therefore, with that thought she continued to ignore the other person despite the faint twinge of curiosity. Soon her anger supplanted her curiosity, as the stranger remained silent. Finally, not being able to take the silence any longer, she clenched her fist and prepared to chew out her visitor, but stopped at hearing a chuckle.

"I know you're not asleep, Asuka," a man softly told her. "Why don't you stop pretending to be something you're not?"

The redhead felt her body start to tremble while the man spoke to her in Japanese. Slowly, with her heart in her throat, she rolled to face where her visitor sat. He had turned the chair around and straddled it, his dark blue eyes observing her. Neither spoke as they studied one another, waiting for the other to speak first. Asuka found her voice after several moments and pre-empted the man.

"What are you doing here, Shinji?" she painfully whispered.

"I've asked myself that many times," he said quietly. "The easiest and least painful answer is because you listed me as your emergency contact and the doctors wouldn't accept 'no.'"

The former Evangelion pilot studied his former roommate and hoped that she wouldn't ask any more questions. It hurt to be in the same room as her, but he had an obligation to be there. If she had listed him as a contact, the least he could do was be there for her. Still he wondered why she had even listed him given their separation years ago. He was under no delusions that it was anything but a mistake on her part because she couldn't think of anyone else.

"I see," she murmured, her eyes closed again.

She felt foolish for saying that but she didn't know what to say to him, she never had. Vicissitudes had filled her years in Tokyo-3 along with many silent awkward moments. The memories of her verbal sparring with the man sitting next to her were still fresh. So were all her defeats against the Angels and Mass Produced Evangelions. Her departure from that cursed land had been an act of desperation. A departure she'd constantly questioned and tried to disremember over the years.

Cracking her eyelids, she glanced at the man and started at seeing him staring back with a small smile. She tried to ignore the emotional ache in her, which continued to increase in strength. Years ago, she'd found him cute, and time had been very kind to him. The boy was now a man with all the gentle curves replaced with hard lines. She almost smiled, thinking that despite the physical changes he was the same, but remembered what he had said earlier. He had found strength to be direct with people. As she lay there, Asuka realized that he hadn't said anything not because he was scared but because he was waiting for her.

"How have you been, Shinji?" she finally asked.

"Okay, I guess. Nothing exceptional has happened in my life since Third Impact," he answered candidly. "How about you?"

"The same as you, though-" She gestured around the room. "-I have been better."

"That's nice." He quickly realized his mistake and blurted. "It's not nice that you've been shot! I meant to say… that it's nice that your life has been…"

"It's okay, Shinji. I know what you meant." She turned her head and stared at him. "Do you know how much longer I'm supposed to be here?"

"A week or so. Maybe." he told her.

Asuka nodded and pretended not to worry about what he hadn't also said, but it didn't work. Over the last eight years, she had barely thought of everyone she had left behind. Her excuse always being that it was better that way because it saved her pain. It had worked as she established herself in her field and she thought she had gotten over her past. Yet, the ache in her heart at seeing Shinji again told her that assumption was false, that she wasn't over her past. With a tight dry throat, she asked an important question.

"And then you'll leave?"

"Wasn't that you wanted when you left Japan?"

- - - -

"What do you mean it's been pled?"

Peter Frager mentally sighed, and tried to organize his thoughts despite the redhead's angry outburst. He had thought that she would be as she had been in the hospital, quiet and composed. That wish had lasted only about two minutes into his briefing of the young woman. It hadn't come as a complete surprise to him when the defendant's lawyer had sent in a plea agreement. Telling Asuka that it was a normal procedure in the court system wasn't going to be easy yet as he prepared to speak her companion beat him.

"It's an everyday occurrence, Asuka," Shinji told her. "The defense lawyer knows his client is guilty of all the charges. He also knows the sentences for the charges. So he weighed the odds and decided that reaching a plea agreement was the best."

"But…"

"It also helps you," he continued. "You don't have to relive that night on the witness stand. Or have your character attacked in anyway by the lawyers."

"I know that, Shinji. It's just…"

"He won't be out for at least fifteen years, Miss Soryu," Frager interrupted quietly. "I know it's not what you wanted to hear, but he won't remember you when he gets out."

"Fine," Asuka finally relented.

"If you'd just sign here acknowledging the plea agreement you can be on your way."

Asuka took the offered pen, slid the papers closer, and signed where the sergeant indicated. After half-a-dozen signatures, she set the pen down then stood up. Ignoring the pain of her still healing body, she quickly picked up her light jacket and strode out the door. Logically, she had known such a thing had been likely while emotionally she had wanted to go to court. To see the bastard's face when he received his sentence and knowing it was her testimony that had sealed his fate. Yet, a part of her was relieved that she wasn't going to have to testify. It was as Shinji had said, she wouldn't have to relive the night except for her nightmares.

"Let's go get lunch."

Those simple words took her mind off penal system and put it on another predicament. The past three weeks had flown by quickly yet she couldn't remember a single important thing. Shinji had been by her side just as he had been after Instrumentality, but she couldn't recall their conversations. He hadn't been cold, more like distant, while they had talked. Her steps faltered when she finally recognized that he had been protecting himself. He had been keeping himself detached from her, ensuring that he'd stay emotionally isolated from her and she had been doing the same.

"No," she whispered, shaking her head.

"Asuka." He reached out for her, but she backed away.

"Let's stop playing games, Shinji," she told him. "Lunch isn't going to make a difference or lessen any pain. Thank you for being by my side these last weeks, but leave."

He tried reaching out but she pushed him away. "Asuka, I'm hurting too!"

"I know!"

- - - -

Brown eyes shot open and darted around the room while their owner listened for what had awoken her. Something had disturbed her sleep yet all she could notice was the gentle sound of rain. Groaning, she threw off her bed coverings and stood up while hoping she hadn't disturbed her partner. She reached for a robe but something deep inside told her that she needed to get dressed. Glancing over her shoulder at her bed and listening to the rain, she debated with herself before finally pulling on sweatpants and a sweatshirt.

"Don't forget to take an umbrella."

"Sorry for waking you."

"It's no problem. Just take an umbrella as I said. You don't want to get sick again, Misato."

Smiling to herself, the former Operations Director of NERV picked up an umbrella from beside the door and stepped outside. She stood on her front porch and waited either for a flash of lightning or for her eyes to adjust to the darkness. Minutes later, she stepped from beneath cover and into the night, her feet moving of their own accord. She'd awoken in the middle of the night many times in her life.

Normally, it was either dreams of the past or dread of the future. There had been times when she had found one of the Children sitting in darkness. Those times had been difficult because she had never known how to comfort them. It was also at those times that she realized that Asuka and Shinji besides growing up were growing closer to each other. She stopped and glared up at the churning clouds with all of her anger as she recognized that it was the same feeling. Dashing back to her house, she grabbed her purse and car keys off the coffee table and darted to her vehicle.

"How could I be so stupid?" she muttered as the engine screamed.

It'd been close to a month since she'd talked to Shinji and knew that was what had woken her. He had changed a lot since the times of the Angels, growing stronger mentally and physically. Yet, at her periodic dinner dates with the young man, she'd caught traces of darkness surrounding him. She knew that he knew what happened when someone tried to be an island. Asuka had taught him that and much more during her stay, like how to run away completely. Minutes later, countryside turned to dimly lit cityscape as her mind came up with various scenarios.

Tires squealed when she stood on the brakes, angrily shaking her head. It was wrong of her to think that Shinji would do something so stupid. She rested her head against the steering wheel and employed logic. Misato couldn't help but grin crookedly at the sign her headlights were currently illuminating. Slowly taking the turn, she proceeded at a slower pace despite her need to reassure herself that Shinji was okay. Minutes later, she pulled into a parking space and exited her car, making sure to grab her umbrella before locking the door.

What he might be doing in the cemetery at such a time was beyond her. But as she walked among the obsidian markers, her gut told her that she would find him here. In the dark without any light, it was easy to get lost on the plain and that's what happened. She sighed when she finally found the right row and started walking toward a certain marker. From the times she'd accompanied Shinji, she knew how far she would have to walk before reaching Yui's marker. Her instinct proved correct when she stumbled over something, more specifically someone, lying between the rows. Digging in her purse, she pulled out a lighter and ignited it while protecting the flame with a hand.

"Shinji! What the hell are you doing here?" she exclaimed, panicked yet also relieved.

The soaking wet young man gazed up at her. "I saw her."

"Who? Your mother." Misato saw him shake his head.

"No. Asuka."

- - - -

"I take back what I said about you being smart, Asuka."

The redhead put down her silverware and gazed at Angela Lewis, the only person she'd label as a friend, even if she was ten years older. The blonde was staring at her with a look she knew well since she herself had used it many times. A gaze which conveyed pity and yet at the same time smugness. Still it wasn't something Asuka hadn't been expecting since beginning her tale.

Two weeks had passed since Shinji had left and she had returned to work. During that time, she had caught up on her research and generally avoided questions about what had happened to her. The press had run a small clip at the back of the local paper the day after she had signed the agreement, but nothing else had happened. The silence should've warned her that something was going to happen. Her premonition had come true at receiving Angela's lunch invitation. It'd started with a simple question, and turned into her telling almost everything. Now she knew that she should've kept her mouth shut.

"How am I stupid, Angela?" she asked with dread.

"Just that you had Shinji within your grasp and you let him go."

"You don't understand," Asuka whispered. "Eight years ago, I left Japan in not the nicest of ways. I didn't verbally tell everyone that I never wanted to have contact with them ever again, but they picked up on it."

"And now you regret it?" the scientist asked.

Asuka remained silent.

"I thought so. It's tearing you to pieces seeing him come and go, and knowing you could've stopped it." Angela leaned close to her friend. "And it's probably hurting him too."

"It can't work out between us. There are so many things that I did in the past." Asuka explained.

"The past doesn't matter to him, or are you that dense? No one focused on the past would fly so far to stay by the side of a person he doesn't have some feelings for." She reached out and lifted Asuka's chin. "You say that it couldn't work out between the two of you, but did you seriously try?"

Asuka tried to look away but found that she couldn't no matter what she did. It was like years ago when Misato would sit her down for a private lecture. She knew that it wasn't a question of if she was going to answer the question but a matter of when. Angela's green eyes bored into her own and she squirmed in her seat still fighting. Finally, after several tense moments she minutely nodded her head.

"I did try," she quietly answered.

This surprised the blonde. "Then what happened?"

"I got scared."

"And you're too stubborn to have ever admitted it before," the older scientist said.

"You don't have to keep rubbing it in," Asuka grumbled. "I know I screwed up and I don't need you to tell me that."

Angela nodded. "So what are you going to do now?"

"I don't know."

"Like that was unexpected." She pushed her plate away and rested her chin on a palm while staring through Asuka. It was a couple of minutes later when she roused herself and grinned at the younger woman. "Why don't you take a vacation and visit him?"

"I can't do that!" Asuka protested.

"And why not? In the five years I've known you, you've never taken a vacation. I'm not saying that you should jump into bed with him, though that wouldn't be such a bad idea."

"Angela!"

"Just joking," she apologized. "I'm just saying take a few days off and visit him. Take the time to patch things up so you can be friends again."

Asuka shook her head. "Then what? We're half a world apart."

"You're young and have your whole future ahead of you. Nothing says you have to stay in the United States your entire life."

"I can't."

- - - -

June 2026, Tokyo-3

"I can't believe I'm doing this."

Asuka leaned her forehead against the steering wheel and closed her eyes. Almost three months had passed since her conversation about taking a vacation to visit Shinji. She'd spent a week going over the pros and cons of such an action before finally reaching a decision. Instead of wasting more time, she had walked into her supervisor's office and asked for time off. That same night, she'd bought her plane ticket and made the other necessary arrangements.

However, once she had been in the air for an hour her apprehension had returned almost threefold. In her mind, she had gone over everything that could go wrong when she met everyone again. It embarrassed her how much she had chided Shinji for dwelling on how others thought of him when she was the same. Another two hours had passed before she had decided not to worry and let events happen. If everyone, except for Shinji, held a grudge against her there was nothing she could do. By that time, she had worn herself out from worry and fallen asleep, only waking ten minutes before landing.

By the time she got onto the expressway, the sun was just breaking the horizon. She could've taken the high-speed rail system or even a taxi, but wanted to drive. Her reasoning being that it would allow her to reacquaint herself with Tokyo-3. All of that had been unnecessary as her memories resurfaced and she found herself driving past all the local landmarks without conscious thought.

It was because of those memories she found herself pulling up to an apartment complex sooner then planned. Gently sighing, she lifted her head and frowned at the curious gazes from the pedestrians. Deciding that she couldn't delay any longer, she grabbed her purse and keys. As she walked through the lobby, Asuka held her head high.

"You can do this, Asuka," she whispered minutes later, standing in front of a door. Yet before she could push the buzzer, the door flew open and she barely dodged a rushing child.

"Urumi, get back here!" a male voice shouted within the apartment.

"Can't… school… late," the girl's voice came back.

Asuka stood there wide-eyed watching the scene trying to hold back a chuckle and failing as Urumi's father came to the door. Humor and exasperation turned to shock and worry as the two adults stared at one another. The redhead found herself nervously shifting under the man's calm stare. She looked for any signs of duplicity when he gently took her hand.

"You want some coffee, Asuka?" Shinji asked.

- - - -

"You didn't have to cook, you know."

The redhead stopped her preparation of dinner, turning around to look at Shinji. It'd taken most of the day for her shock to wear off, though she attributed that to sleep. She had shared coffee with Shinji that morning before he had left for work, and he had been adamant about her staying. His reasoning had been that the apartment was large enough and he had a spare bedroom she could stay in so why waste money. Her anxiety at finding herself in such a situation was hard to overcome, but she finally relented.

She had slept for eights hours before waking and exploring the apartment, which was twice as big as Misato's old residence. Asuka had limited her exploration to what she could see in the open and didn't snoop like the old days. Her examinations had revealed that he was moderately successful, having graduated from a good school. She had ceased her probing before Urumi had come home, and then left to do some grocery shopping. Shinji had been waiting when she came back and she had set about making dinner while he helped Urumi with her homework.

"It's no problem," she countered. "After all, you let me sleep here when it'd been easier to turn me away."

"Asuka…"

"Besides dinner's ready."

With that, she plated the last dish and brought the platter over to the table. Dinner had been costly, as she had forgotten how expensive certain ingredients were in Japan. However, as they ate and the Ikaris gave her compliments on the meal she considered it money well spent. What also helped was that none of the distance she had felt when Shinji had been by her side months ago was present. His behavior was very close to her memories and it reassured her that she could maybe patch things up.

"Is something wrong, Urumi?" she asked the little girl, who had been staring at her for several minutes.

"Are you really Asuka?" Urumi timidly asked.

The redhead looked puzzled. "Why?"

"You're nothing like how Kensuke or Touji describe you. You don't have horns or breathe flames like a demon," she innocently told Asuka, which caused both adults to choke on their food. "You're nice though a little quiet, but you haven't hit father once."

"Urumi, you do know that Kensuke and Touji like to exaggerate things. You shouldn't believe everything they say about the past," Shinji gently scolded.

"I know," she whined, but then smiled. "And besides I like her."

Asuka found herself staring in amazement for the second time that day at the interaction between father and daughter. At least she thought Urumi was his child, but she hadn't had the courage to dig that deep so soon. However, what shocked her was that it was as if she was watching herself. The girl wasn't acting as a child, but as an equal to her father. Asuka smiled sadly, hoping that such early maturity wouldn't harm her as it had hurt herself.

"Can I ask you something, Asuka?" Shinji asked.

"Of course you can."

"Why are you here?"

The question hung in the air as all three present waited for an answer. Asuka put her fork down and stared back at Shinji, never loosing eye contact. The entire day she had known that he'd ask that question and she'd have to respond. At first, she had tried to think of a complex answer to describe her actions and feelings, but had rejected it. The simpler and best thing she could say was the only one that worked. Her eyes darted to Urumi, who sat waiting for her answer, before shifting back to Shinji.

"Because I care."

"Asuka…"

"I'm confused about what I'm feeling, but I care about you, okay!" she shouted. "You could've left me all alone in the hospital, but you didn't. For three weeks, you stayed with me even though it must have been tearing you apart." Asuka shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut trying to stop the tears. "And it's been ripping me to pieces. I don't know if I can make up for all my mistakes but…"

What she was going to say never left her mouth as she closed it with a snap. Strong arms were around her shoulders, holding her tightly. She hadn't noticed Shinji move from his chair to her side and it didn't matter. All she could feel was his body heat and hear his quiet breathing.

"Thank you."

- - - -

"So how awkward is it staying at Shinji's?"

Asuka lowered the icepack from her cheek to stare at Misato, who was sitting across from her. She really wanted be angry with her former guardian, but knew she had no right to be mad. Her relationship with Misato had always been cool, though it thawed at times before freezing later. She also knew that her abrupt departure and the pain it had caused Shinji were the reasons for the slap. Still it had been quite unexpected when Misato had hit her after opening the door. Yet that was the only sign of displeasure shown.

"A little weird," she answered. "At times he doesn't know what to say though I'm also the same way. We both want to say things but can't."

"Because you both know you're going to be leaving after his birthday."

Asuka bowed her head. "I never thought I'd see any of you again. I thought I had buried everything, but I guess I was wrong."

"What happens after you leave?"

"I don't know."

Misato nodded to herself and lifted her mug not surprised at the answer. While it wasn't a reassuring response, it told her that Asuka was being truthful instead of hiding. She had gotten Shinji's story after finding him in the cemetery and she had wanted Asuka's. Yet the redhead's expression told her everything she needed to know and it saddened her. Still her former charges were adults and had to handle things on their own without outside interference.

"Not what I was hoping for, though I do hope you'll stay in touch from now on."

Asuka grinned. "That's an easy promise."

"I'm going to hold you to that." Misato leaned forward and fixed the redhead in place with a mischievous smirk. "So what are you going to give him as a present?"

"Not what you're thinking!" Asuka snapped. "I was thinking of a surprise birthday party."

The purple-haired woman stared Asuka with wide-eyes and began to chuckle. It was such an innocent thing to say that she couldn't believe Asuka had suggested it. Not once had the three of them ever celebrated their own or each other's birthday. To hear Asuka say that she wanted to celebrate Shinji's birthday, much less hold a surprise party was almost too much. Yet, as much as she wanted to be happy, one bit of information dampened her mood.

"It won't work, Asuka," she told the feisty woman.

"And why not! Do you think that I can't handle planning a party?" Asuka half rose out of her chair before sitting down quickly. "Sorry, I shouldn't have…"

"No problem," Misato reassured her. "The reason it won't work is it's also Urumi's birthday. Shinji hasn't celebrated his own birthday since she came into his life."

"Then why was she so excited about the idea?"

"You told her."

"Of course I did! She's a bright kid and I wanted her approval for such an idea." Both women were silent for several moments before Asuka looked up. "Can you tell me about Urumi? Was Shinji married?"

"No, I can't," Misato sadly answered. "It's not my story to tell, just like it wasn't my place to tell Shinji about your mother."

Asuka was disappointed that Misato wouldn't tell her about Urumi or Shinji's life since she had left. She understood why the older woman was reluctant to talk, but she didn't want to be too forward with Shinji. The redhead had hoped that Misato would fill in the blanks, but now knew she'd have to ask Shinji before she left to calm her worries. A light touch caused her to look up to see her guardian studying her with gentle eyes.

"I don't have to tell you to be careful, Asuka." Her serious tone disappeared and became more cheerful. "So why don't you tell me what's been happening in you're life."

"Not much except I got shot a few months ago."

"What?! I'm going to kill Shinji for not telling me that!"

"You better not!"

- - - -

"You know this is the happiest I've ever seen Shinji."

Asuka nodded at Hikari's comment while her eyes carefully tracked Shinji's movement. Her reunion with her old best friend had gone smoother than the one with Misato. Conversation had been slow to start but once they got over that hurdle time had flown by. The former class representative had caught her up to what everyone had been doing over the years. She was a little saddened though to hear some news from the brunette.

Things hadn't gone smoothly with her and Touji after graduation and they had separated. Out of everyone she had been acquainted with, Asuka had hoped that Hikari would've had a happy life. Still things weren't as bad as the two of them were still friends and met monthly dinner dates. In fact, Hikari had hinted that she might try again since her latest attempts at dating had failed miserably. Of course, she hadn't exactly sounded hopeful when she told Asuka that part.

However, despite how much she still liked Hikari's open personality Asuka felt her friend still missed much. Shinji did look happy, but to her it was if he was forcing himself to enjoy the party. His posture was not of someone relaxed and she noted that his smile never reached his eyes. It was easy to notice the signs because she'd mastered the art of false appearances growing up. Picking up her drink, Asuka took a thoughtful sip pondering what she should do.

"I don't think he is," she told her friend after reaching a decision.

Hikari glanced at her and then Shinji. "What makes you think that?"

"Experience."

Shinji shivered at feeling an itch between his shoulder blades while he chatted with Rei. Slightly turning his head, he spotted Hikari and Asuka talking across the rooms. That's what the two women appeared to be doing except for the fact that the redhead was observing him. Various thoughts and a couple fantasies flitted through his mind at seeing the beautiful woman in her green dress. He gave himself a shake and banished the dangerous images since he knew they wouldn't happen.

The party was a nice event though not much of a surprise since Urumi had let it slip the day before. He was amazed Asuka had gone through so much trouble for him. She had always been a complex person to deal with and it seemed she hadn't changed in that department over the years. Their week together had shown him she was trying to patch things up and he was grateful for that, even if she was leaving again. There was much he wanted to tell her but…

"Can I talk to you, Shinji?"

He whipped back around and found Asuka behind him. Her sky-blue eyes were warm yet serious too.

"Okay."

- - - -

"You're not happy."

Shinji stopped walking, turned to Asuka, and swallowed. The friendly and relaxed face he'd seen over the past week was gone. It was now one of anger mixed with disappointment and a touch of worry. How he could read those emotions was a mystery as each of them briefly flashed across her features.

"Am I supposed to be?" he asked. "I was enjoying the party, but..."

"But I'm leaving in two days," Asuka finished. "Does it hurt that much?"

"Yes."

Turning, he started down the park's path once again without another word. He smiled at hearing Asuka quicken her pace to catch up. A moment later, he stood up straight as if shocked when she wrapped her arm around his. As he recovered from that shock, she surprised him once again by resting her head on his shoulder.

"Why?" she whispered.

"Because you're not here," he confessed. "I've tried forgetting you through school then work and by concentrating on Urumi. But each time I succeeded something, whether a reunion or a friendly get together, brought the memories back." Shinji angrily shook his head. "What was supposed to be fun turned depressing."

"You know they say it's unhealthy to be stuck on one person for so long?"

She stumbled when Shinji stopped and whirled away from her. Yet before they could fully separate, she snagged his hand. Intertwining her fingers with his she held him fast, not letting him go. It was her turn to be shocked when he faced her with anger burning in his eyes. However, she didn't turn away instead calmly meeting his gaze.

"Damn it, Asuka! Have you ever cared about my feelings?" he raged. "In the past years did you ever stop and consider what I felt when you left?"

"Did you love me?" she asked softly.

Anger quickly turned to embarrassment. "Maybe... I think so... I don't know."

Not releasing him, the redhead guided him to a bench a few feet away joining him when he sat. Once on the bench she let go of Shinji and brought her hands to her lap. Silence settled over the pair as they contemplated the past and the present. Asuka opened her mouth a few times only to snap it shut, the ease of talking to him over the week deserting her. He wasn't any better as he continually fidgeted next to her before finally reaching over and taking her hand.

"We were the perfect team back in school," he began. "We shored up each other's weaknesses and reinforced our strengths. When we worked together we were unbeatable." Shinji smiled sadly. "That's why I thought when we graduated we could maybe try to make the team..."

"Permanent."

Shinji nodded. "Yeah. I know we never spoke about it, but everyone else considered us boyfriend and girlfriend."

"And college with us living alone would've been the perfect place to try to be an actual couple," Asuka added. "No stupid friends to make rude comments, or a guardian that'd walk in at the wrong time."

"I would've been able to figure out if I loved you and you could've told me how you felt."

The bitterness of his comment hurt, and Asuka stood and tried to leave but he tightened his grip. She should've known and, in fact, had hoped that they could clear things up, but not like this. It was painful emotionally to hear his words and know she was the one responsible.

"It wasn't your fault Shinji, it never was," she whispered. "It was me."

"It doesn't matter." Flesh hit flesh and Shinji held his cheek.

"How can you say that?" she screamed. "A few minutes ago you were yelling at me asking if I ever thought about your feelings! You just told me that you practically loved me back then, and now you're saying…"

"What will it change?" he asked defiantly. "Will it bring back the years we were apart? Will it heal our hearts?"

"No and maybe," Asuka replied. She couldn't meet his eyes and studied the ground. "I was scared, Shinji. Everything I've ever done in my life I did out of fear. Fear of being forgotten, fear of being abandoned, and fear of dying were always in the back of my mind."

"But…"

"My life back then was too calm and perfect, Shinji." She wiped her eyes. "Something was going to happen to destroy my happiness, I knew it. So before I could be hurt I left everyone. I'm so sorry."

Shinji stood and gently wrapped his arms around the sobbing redhead and drew her close. He winced as she fiercely hugged him back even as she soaked his shoulder. They stood like that for several minutes before the tears slowed. He loosened his hold to allow her some freedom, but she didn't loosen her own grip.

"When you left I thought I had failed," he stated. "All I could think about were my actions and how something I did must've driven you away. That lasted a couple months before loneliness came crashing back down." Shinji stroked her back hoping to help Asuka relax.

"You know what's dumb is that I haven't been happy since leaving."

His smile grew bigger at her quiet admission. He'd always had a hard time staying angry with Asuka and it seemed he hadn't changed. True, he'd been mad for her suggesting something was wrong with him for thinking about her. But then she'd told him her reason for leaving and coupled with what she'd said the first day back, there was no way he could hate her. Instead, all he could do was feel sympathy for the woman who was her own worst enemy.

"I met Christine at the beginning of our senior year. She was the daughter of a NERV engineer and had heard about us… about me." He briefly looked away. "We both were looking for someone and things went fast after that."

"You don't have to tell me."

"Just listen, please." He felt her nod. "You can call me a pervert, naïve, or anything else you want, but I wanted you to be my first and only. Then you left, leaving me with a hole in my heart. Christine filled it physically. We were like Kaji and Misato when they first met, in bed constantly."

Asuka pulled back after he was silent for a long time. "What happened?"

"She left me without any explanation. It hurt but nothing like when you left," Shinji calmly explained. "Deep down I knew I was just using her, but I did like her. Once she was gone, I buried myself in school never thinking about having another relationship. I was meant to be alone so why try…"

"That's not true."

Shinji smiled weakly. "It's what I thought. Anyway, a year later a social service worker showed up at my apartment with Urumi. She explained everything and asked whether I wanted to take custody of her."

"And the rest is history."

Shinji fully released Asuka before continuing down the walkway. Again, she had to pick up her pace to catch up with the man. Once she was at his side, she studied him in the moonlight and waited.

"No," he whispered. "You taught me to stand up for myself and that's what I did. I demanded a paternity test, and got one. Even with the results, I wasn't able to make a decision since it'd mean I would have to leave college."

"What changed your mind?"

"Did Mister Kaji ever tell you about his childhood?" Asuka shook her head. "He told me what it was like growing up, it wasn't good. While I'm sure things have improved, I decided I wasn't going to be like our parents. I wanted Urumi to be loved and cared for instead of being passed around, so I signed the papers."

"It must have been fun going to school and raising a child."

"Yeah, though I wouldn't use the word fun." He grinned at his former roommate. "Misato helped a lot, especially while I was at law school."

"Misato."

Shinji saw the happiness leave Asuka's face and felt guilty. Glancing down, he acted upon old feelings, and took her hand once again. The sadness, which had started to grow, disappeared replaced with a slight blush. His own cheeks heated when he realized that in such a short time he'd held her hand more than all the times in the past. However, he wasn't going to let go until the very last minute.

"We're still screwed up, aren't we?" Asuka asked. "I mean we go from happy to sad to angry back to happy without thinking. It's not right."

"But it helps we're so messed up," he replied. "Would any of what we said have come out if we were calm and collected?"

"No," she answered, tightening her hold. "And thank you for telling me what you did."

"I just wanted some closure between us before you left." He stopped and faced her. "You'll be back, right? This isn't a one time event."

Asuka frowned. "I can't make any promises, Shinji."

- - - -

November 2026

"Merry Christmas."

Asuka looked up from the letter she was writing to Misato to see an envelope drop onto her desk. She picked it up and saw that it wasn't typical departmental mail, but something different. Glancing up, she saw Angela leaning against a partition section with a faint smile on her face.

"I see you're keeping in touch with those you left in Japan," Angela stated. "Though isn't that old-fashioned and slow compared to email."

The redhead gathered up her letter and Misato's organizing them into a pile and placing it in a corner. She had kept her promise by writing regularly. Hand writing her letters to everyone was her way of telling them that she cared. Still her partial letter was of no consequence as she picked up the envelope and studied it.

"What's this?" she quietly inquired.

"An early Christmas present," the blonde answered.

Asuka sighed. "Christmas isn't for another month."

"You need to loosen up or everything is going to pass you by."

The former Evangelion pilot groaned and gave into Angela's amused look, besides she was also curious. A personal letter was unusual in the company as everyone reused envelopes, scratching out the previous name. Even minor confidential information was handled in the same manner, which had always puzzled her given her past. Using a fingernail, Asuka ran it along the short edge careful not to get a paper cut and retrieved the documents. Her eyes quickly skimmed over the letter and she felt her breath catch in her throat when she reached the end of the first page.

"Why?" she whispered.

"I'm giving you a chance to correct a mistake."

"But you deserve the promotion more than I do, Angela!" Asuka slammed the papers down. "I've only been here for five years compared to your ten."

The older woman retrieved a nearby chair. "It doesn't matter. I told them that I would be willing to return to Germany to bring one of our branches back up to standards. I nominated you because you already know the language, the city, and the culture of Japan. Besides, you've accomplished more in five years than some have done in ten."

The redhead shook her head. "Why are you going through so much trouble for me?"

Angela placed a hand on Asuka's knee, getting her attention. She considered the redhead a daughter she never had, though she'd never state that aloud. Over the last five years, she had learned things that no one else knew. At least no one else in America or the company knew them. That information had saddened her, but she had also resolved to help Asuka when the time came.

"I've been married and divorced three times in my life," she began. "I wondered for a long time whether I was meant to be alone. Yet, the more I thought about it the more I came to realize something."

"What did you realize?" Asuka reluctantly prodded, she knew her role.

"That I had made a mistake." Angela smiled sadly. "I realized too late that I was happiest with my first husband, the person I had dated throughout high school."

"I didn't love Shinji!" Asuka protested.

"Maybe. Yet, you were scared at how much you shared in common with him. You told me that, remember?" The blonde leaned in closer. "You ran because you didn't want to face the fact that you two complimented one another."

"Shut up!"

"Stop running away, Asuka!"

- - - -

Christmas Day 2026

"Sorry to cause everyone so much trouble."

Shinji finished pulling a blanket over Urumi before turning. Asuka stood behind him wearing jeans and a fluffy sweater she had received as a present. Standing, he studied the room that looked like a tornado had hit it. The devastated appearance came from everyone opening presents and the fact that Asuka was still moving in.

"You know it's no problem," he reassured her.

"But…"

"No buts, Miss Soryu," he admonished. "It doesn't matter whether it's Christmas or just another day, everyone's happy you're here."

With that, he bent over picked up an empty plate and stacked it with another. Moving through the room, he slowly gathered up dirty dishes. It would take some time but he wasn't about to leave the mess for the night. By the time his hands were full, he finally noticed Asuka had joined him in the chore of cleaning.

It took several trips to the kitchen and four large garbage bags before they could see the floor. An hour later, they had cleared enough of the clutter to be able to navigate the sleeping bodies without stepping in something. Shinji forced back a yawn as the long day was finally taking a toll. Yet, he paused at the entrance to the living room.

Asuka lightly touched Misato's cheek. "Has she been drinking a lot again?"

"Nope. Like I said everyone's just happy you're here," he said. "Especially Misato since her family is together again."

"Family," Asuka whispered.

Shinji watched as she shuffled to where he stood and got a pleasant surprise. Asuka gently leaned against him, her chin on his shoulder. Smiling, he embraced her, feeling her heartbeat and warmth where they touched.

"It's been so long since I heard that word," she whispered. "So long since the people using it were sincere. And forever since I believed it. But…"

"Asuka?"

"But I'm finally home. I'm back where I belong." She hugged him tighter. "I'm home, Shinji."

"Welcome home."

- - - -

If Asuka never left because of anger or hatred but fear and realized after seeing Shinji that it was a mistake she regretted, how should she react? Here they were real close with no defenses up before she left. So should it be improbable that when she finally reunited with Shinji that she couldn't act weak? Asuka has many sides to her.

And yes, I know the prosecutor would be involved with a plea agreement and not a detective. I just didn't want to make up a character just for a couple paragraphs when they'd never be used again.

Timeline:

December 2018: Asuka leaves Japan 3 months before senior year. Age 17

December 2026: Eight years later, she returns. Age 25

October 2019: Urumi conceived. Shinji age 18 senior high school.  
November 2020: Shinji takes custody of Urumi, age 5 months.  
June 2026: Asuka throws surprise party, Urumi age 6 years.


	2. Maturity

Chapter 2: Maturity

Red Horseman

/ \ / \ / \

March 2027

"If I had known ahead of time that I would be getting you, I would've demanded somebody else."

Asuka narrowed her eyes and tightly clenched her fists, but that was all. Her temper, along with her pride, had always gotten her into trouble before and after Third Impact. Therefore, over the years she'd learned how to keep her mouth shut during crucial situations. It was only because she reaped great benefits that she kept up the effort. However, there was no way she was going sit quietly and let herself be insulted.

Relaxing, she smoothed her skirt and tuned out the chief scientist, waiting. When the blonde-woman paused in her contemptuous commentary, the redhead struck. Leaning forward, she quietly placed a finger at the top of her personnel file. Doing nothing else, she stared into the other person's eyes until they started fidgeting.

"If you looked at my accomplishments," she began. "You'd have observed that I'm quite competent in my fields of expertise. In addition, my yearly evaluations stress my competency, professionalism, and dedication to my job." She smiled thinly. "I've gotten over the past yet it seems you're stuck there, Doctor Ritsuko Akagi."

Resentment flared up in the faux-blonde woman's eyes, exactly the reaction Asuka had wanted. Leaning back, she folded her hands in her lap, and again waited. It'd been so long since she'd been intentionally confrontational with anyone that she'd almost forgotten the rush. So when Ritsuko was the first to back down, Asuka allowed herself a tiny smile.

"The little teenaged girl that you so bitterly detest is no longer here," Asuka stated. "It would be in both our best interests if you remembered that, Doctor Akagi."

The auburn-haired woman knew she'd stepped over the line even before she'd finished. Ritsuko pursed her lips and thoughtfully observed the younger scientist in silence. Asuka flinched when her file was snapped shut and moved to one side. The doctor then leaned forward and fixed her in place with a baleful stare.

"You've accomplished a lot, I'll give you that," she almost spat. "You say your old self is gone, but not from where I'm sitting. You're still an arrogant little bitch."

Asuka rose out of her chair. "Don't call me that, whore!"

"Sit down!" Ritsuko got herself under control while Asuka sat. "You're still arrogant, but you just don't blatantly show it. You've done a lot in a short period of time, but you could've done most of them better."

"Now wait…"

"I expect more efficient results, Miss Soryu."

The redhead stood up. "Are you threatening me?"

"You're dismissed."

- - - -

"She can take her damn efficiencies and shove them up her…"

Asuka didn't finish her sentence as she stalked into the cafeteria, yet she'd said enough. Quite a few of her fellow employees grinned before turning away from her. Shaking her head, she cleared her mind of the meeting, and Doctor Akagi's comments. Now wasn't the time to give herself a migraine, especially over something so trivial. After all, it was time to indulge in her favorite past time of eating.

She'd been lucky to have woken up on a Japanese beach with Shinji after Third Impact. The same wasn't true of those that'd followed them back to reality. Those people had typically found themselves on a foreign coast barely able to communicate with those around them. Even when air transport was reestablished, many of the returnees had already forged new bonds and refused to return to where they'd lived before. Countries found themselves extensively culturally diversified, especially concerning cuisine. Moreover, she had come enjoy that diversification at meal times.

The company back in the United States had recognized that employees performed better when they had something familiar to eat. Meal menus had reflected that philosophy, listing dishes from almost a dozen countries. Moreover, as she walked down the line, Asuka saw that the same was true with the Japanese branch. Smiling at seeing a familiar dish, she raised a hand to get a cook's attention only to have her wrist gripped gently.

"I wouldn't eat that dish," a male voice told her. "The quality can be questionable at times."

Asuka turned around once free and saw Shinji. "I didn't know you worked here."

"I don't," he answered. "I'm just here helping a senior partner finalize the legal department. A couple more days and you won't see me unless something comes up that needs our attention."

"Oh. Well, I take it you've eaten here before." She turned back to the food. "What would you recommend?"

Shinji moved to her side, just at the edge of her personal space. In the last weeks, he'd learned that she was more tolerant of letting people close. And he'd barely recognized he was taking advantage of that tolerance. A few nights, he had found himself thinking about how fast he'd adjusted to her presence. It was as if the last years had never even happened, which was dangerous thinking. He had a daughter while not knowing whether Asuka had someone special.

"That dish is kind of bland," he stated after giving himself a mental shake. "If you still like spicy food, you'd like that one. Or if you want a variety, I'd go with some of the finger foods."

"Some help you are," Asuka grumbled.

"Sorry, I normally stick with a couple dishes."

"Guess I'll go with experimentation." She placed her order, and turned back to him. "You want to eat here, or in the courtyard?"

"Courtyard's fine."

- - - -

"What'd the dumpling do to warrant such treatment?"

"Don't know what you're talking about?" she retorted, the pot sticker at the end of her chopstick.

Shinji laughed. "Come on, Asuka. I know years have passed, but you still have some quirks I can recognize." He kept smiling despite her glare. "Whenever something or someone annoyed you, you'd either take it out on your room or your food. Since your room isn't here, and you've been eating rather… viciously."

The redhead chewed thoughtfully before setting her utensils aside. Her hopes of pushing away the meeting hadn't panned out. She glanced down and saw that she'd eaten almost all that she'd bought. Yet she could barely remember the taste of anything she'd eaten. Looking up, she found Shinji studying her, concern evident on his face.

"Over two months and I _finally_ had my first meeting with my divisional supervisor," she muttered, darkly. "It didn't exactly go the way I'd hoped, but I hadn't been expecting Ritsuko."

"Doctor Akagi!" Shinji exclaimed. "I can guess how that went."

"Not good," she told him. "She still sees me as a little girl and hates me for whatever reason."

"I can understand why." He raised his hands defensively at her glare. "Hey, just because I understand doesn't mean I agree."

"You're going to tell me to look at it through her perspective, aren't you?" She groaned at his nod. "How'd I guess?"

"She hasn't had a lot to be happy about. And I guess with you working under her, you'll constantly reminder her of how bad things are," he explained.

"You're exaggerating, Shinji."

"Out of everybody who worked at NERV and returned from Instrumentality, she's the only one who is truly alone." He didn't look away at her incredulous expression. "Even you must have known that you could always come back. Ritsuko hurt too many of us to…"

"None of you have forgiven her?"

"Misato has, but she can't completely forget what happened to us as pilots. Maya has also forgiven Ritsuko, but that's another can of worms." Shinji glanced away. "I've tried to forgive her, but I can't forget what she allowed to happen to you, or what she did to Rei."

"It's like with the Commander. I can understand why they did certain things, but the ends didn't justify the means!" he growled.

"So what happened between Maya and Akagi?" she asked switching subjects.

"I'd rather…"

"Get mad."

Shinji swallowed at her comment and realized she was right. It still amazed him how fast he could get angry talking about NERV. Moreover, like so many times in the past he knew it wasn't worth the time or effort to hold onto the anger. Smiling sheepishly, he reached for his can only to spot it in Asuka's hand.

"Hey! That's my drink."

"Spill it, Ikari and you'll get it back." She leaned forward. "Shinji, no one else is going to tell me, especially those two. Please."

The lawyer sighed, "She got married."

"But… but," she stammered. "I thought Maya was -well you know- in love with Ritsuko."

"A lot of others would've agreed with you," Shinji replied. "But it was more of a professional attraction. And with what Maya learned during Instrumentality…" He trailed. "Their reunion wasn't pretty."

"Oh, I guess anyone would become bitter at being abandoned by someone they liked."

"I wasn't."

- - - -

_Asuka stood in the entranceway of the shop and stared in amazement at the displays before her. Slowly, she moved to one arrangement, touching a delicate flower before inhaling its fragrance. She smiled when she realized that for the first time she was actually 'stopping to smell the roses.' Jumping at the light touch on her shoulder, she turned to look at her companion. _

"_I'm not too sure roses are appropriate for a gravesite."_

"_I know," she whispered. "It's just that I don't know what flowers mama might have liked."_

_Shinji gently squeezed Asuka's shoulder. "I think she'd like anything you gave her." "He looked at her expression. "What's the matter?"_

"_Thank you for coming with me," she whispered._

"_I know how hard it is to get over the pain."_

"I can't believe it's still here."

'The more things change the more they stay the same,' Asuka thought looking at the flower shop. She'd been walking through the shopping district amazed at how much had changed in eight years. Of course, when she really looked at things nothing had really altered since her departure.

The boutique where she had bought some of her favorite dresses now sold electronics. The store where she'd bought her first present for Shinji now housed jewelry. And so on and so on. Yet when she really looked at things all that had really changed was the name on the front of the building. Everything humans needed or desired was still for sale here. Therefore, it had come as a surprise to find the flower shop just as she remembered it.

Stepping through the ornate door, the gentle fragrances from dozens of varieties of flowers enveloped her. Reaching out, she traced delicate petals just as she had done the first time with Shinji. Turning a corner, she stared at one beautiful arrangement and bumped into someone carrying a vase full of lilies.

"Sorry." She reached out and steadied the woman before turning.

"Asuka?"

The redhead stopped and turned again, and gasped. "Yukie!"

Asuka was soon studying an expansive indoor garden delighted at the love and work it expressed. All the plants complimented and blended in with one another. Small statues dotted the landscape while also bordering the solitary pond. The table she sat at was under a flowering shade tree with sunlight trickling through the blossoms. It was peacefulness hardly found in a metropolis.

"So what's it been, six years?"

"It's closer to eight. Thank you."

Asuka gingerly picked up the china teacup, took a sip, and smiled at the taste. Like so many things in her life recently, she had forgotten the finer things in life. Shinji could brew a good cup of coffee and a decent one of tea. Yukie, one of only a handful of friends in school, had taken it to another level. It tasted as if her skill had only improved. Lowering her gaze, she saw her classmate staring at her.

"So what brings the forlorn daughter back to Tokyo-3?" Yukie's smile waned. "Better yet why'd you leave in the first place?"

"Fear forced me away. What brought me back… you're looking way too smug."

The brunette's smile broadened. "And love brought you back?"

"Love… no. Hope… yes."

- - - -

"I'll deliver the arrangements next Wednesday."

"No problem. Again, thank you."

Asuka pulled her light jacket tighter about her, and glanced at her watch. She'd started her journey early on in the afternoon and it was now evening. Her conversation with Yukie had stretched on longer then she had anticipated, but it wasn't a bad thing. It'd taken almost dying to realize how alone she was in her life and that friends were special. Therefore, if she spent a few hours repairing a relationship she'd so carelessly damaged when she left, she didn't care.

"I need to stop thinking so much," she muttered.

Smirking, she patted the pocket where her wallet was located as she walked down the crowded streets, and froze. Moving quickly, she ducked into a storefront alcove, absently studying the window display. Time seemed to stretch and Asuka felt cold sweat run down her neck as she watched the reflection. Only when the trio had passed her by did she move back to the sidewalk.

"No fucking way," she growled following the two women and one man.

However, there was no mistaking the hair color and skin tone of one of the women. Asuka's past animosity toward that woman was slowly boiling to the surface. To think that she'd changed just because of the way she had acted at Shinji's birthday and Christmas annoyed the hell out of Asuka. The redhead's growl deepened and she felt the hairs on her neck raise up.

"Where do you think you're going, miss?"

Asuka whirled around to face back the way she'd come, and frowned. Three men were exiting the store where she had briefly blocked the door. Her frown deepened at their appearance as no self-respecting businessman would have tattoos up their necks. While two of them were her age the third's face tickled her memory, but she couldn't place him. Glancing around, she saw that an open space had formed around her.

"What the hell do you want?" she snapped taking the initiative.

One the younger males smirked. "Don't get smart with us, you wouldn't like the consequences."

"It's rude of someone to block the entrance of our store and not come in to buy something," the other piped in. "Very rude."

"No one wanted in while I was there," Asuka stated. "And there's no law saying I have to buy anything!"

"There's laws and than there are laws. Isn't that right, Yuji?"

The comment focused Asuka's attention back to the older man, who hadn't done anything. Yet when she thought that, he shouldered his way past his companions. Stopping in front of her, the man went immobile again except for his eyes. A yelp escaped Asuka's mouth as one of his hands shot out and painfully gripped her jaw. He forced her head from side to side while he continued studying her.

"I wasn't sure at first," he whispered. "There are a lot of redheads in Japan now. A few of them also have blue eyes. However, none of them would have vertical scars over their left eye."

"You sure?" They'd heard his story many times.

"Yeah," he snarled. "Her and her boyfriend were on television and in the papers a lot ten years ago. Besides, I'd never forget the face of the bitch who broke my wrist."

Everything finally clicked. "How the mighty have fallen, Yuji? Weren't you supposed to be a doctor?" Her eyes were hard. "And you got what you deserved for trying to feel me up."

"Still so arrogant, just like you were on our date. I'm going to so enjoy our date tonight." He blinked as she grabbed his arm. "What do you think you're doing? There's no Section-2 to save your ass. And your precious Unit-02 is a pile of junk."

"I never needed Section-2 to protect me. As for mama, she-" Asuka's smile was deadly. "-taught me some tricks for my AT-Field."

"AT-Field?"

"It's something all humans have and generate, but I know how to manipulate mine. Too bad all you know how to do is keep your shape."

While she was speaking, Asuka sent her field questing over Yuji's trapped arm. It flowed through the weave of his suit and shirt to contact flesh. The brief tingle as her AT-Field overwhelmed his caused the man to shiver. Asuka's deadly smile turned sickening sweet when she finally encased his arm with her field. All it would take was concentration on her part to contract her soul.

"Trying to scare me?"

"Scare you… no. I have the upper hand here." As a demonstration, she increased the pressure on his arm. "Whether you keep your arm or not is up to me."

She could see the sweat trickle down his face but nothing happened. Her worry grew when he smiled and slightly nodded his head. The man who'd spoken first to her reached in his suit and pulled out a pistol. His partner calmly slid on a pair of brass knuckles. Yuji continued to look at her with his confident smile.

"Looks like a standoff," he muttered. "You hurt me they hurt you."

Narrowing her eyes, Asuka reassessed the situation. While there was no way she was going to back down, she had no desire in going to the hospital. The street environment was worse as everyone abandoned the side she was. Turning her gaze back to the men before her, she steeled her determination.

"If you want to be that way."

With those words, her eyes filled with an unnatural light as a humming sound surrounded her. The ends of her hair flickered with static electricity. In the dimming light, the men could see a rust-orange light cover her body. Moreover, from where she touched Ryo the same colored light encased his harm.

"Angel!"

"Idiots, humans are the eighteenth Angel!" She felt blood seep and flesh tear when she constricted her AT-Field. More pressure and she heard the crack of bone.

"Kill her!" Ryo screamed at the pain. The sound of a gun cocking from behind the gangster with the pistol caught their attention.

Then a deep authoritarian spoke, "You shoot her and she'll survive. I blow your fucking head off and you won't."

- - - -

"It seems it's my luck to run into old acquaintances tonight."

"Why can't you swallow your damned pride and call me a friend?"

"Pride has nothing to do with this. You were Shinji's friend, Touji."

Touji just shook his head and pulled out the chair for the woman. Why he had invited her to dinner after her confrontation still eluded him. Perhaps, it was out of some obligation to Shinji that he was willing to tolerate her presence. He twitched at the faint smile from Asuka at his gesture, and wondered if his opinion of her was wrong.

However, the thought died at her almost falling into the chair. He reached a hand out and steadied her as she swayed. Narrowing his eyes, he studied her in the dim light and was shocked. It was like seeing a different person, as she looked suddenly drained and frail. At her brushing his hand away, his concern slightly diminished.

"You don't look so great," he commented, sitting across from Asuka. "Should I take you to the hospital?"

"I'll be fine," Asuka muttered. "No need to be worried."

"Yeah, right. You look like you've got one foot in the grave."

The redhead swallowed the aspirin she'd fished out. "You try projecting an Absolute-Terror Field after twelve years of no practice and see if it doesn't drain you."

"Well if you don't look better after eating, I'm taking you to the hospital," he stated. "And AT-Field be damned."

Asuka caught herself grinning at his bluster, but didn't stop. She was grateful for his sudden appearance at the tense confrontation. It'd taken all her strength to remain standing. That didn't mean she was going to start calling Touji a friend or confide in him. There were still things that needed clearing up before she contemplated that stage.

Glancing around her surroundings, she did have to say that he had good taste. Perusing the menu and wine list served to confirm that estimation. Looking up from the expensive listings, she studied her dinner companion. His attire was the only detail that put a crimp on the evening.

"You don't have to stare," he muttered.

"It just amazes me to see you as a cop."

"I'm not smart enough to be a lawyer like Shinji. Or a…" He trailed off.

"Bio-engineer and geneticist," she answered.

"Whatever. I didn't like business or computers, and the idea of enlisting didn't appeal to me. So I decided to be a cop." Touji smirked. "There's enough trouble in Tokyo-3 to keep things interesting."

"And you get to smash heads once in a while."

Whatever rebuke he was going to fire back died at the approach of their waitress. He winced at Asuka's choice of meals but didn't say anything. Money hadn't been a problem for a long time so he could indulge himself and anyone else. Giving the waitress his selection, he also bought a vintage bottle of wine. Once the alcohol arrived, he quickly drank a glass, poured another glassful, and studied Asuka.

He had briefly seen her at Shinji's birthday party before leaving for his shift. What he'd glimpsed hadn't been enough to form an opinion, but now… He along with Kensuke had always teased Shinji about liking the Devil, and assumed it must be because of her body. She'd been hot in school and many a boy had tried catching her in compromising situations; none ever succeeded. Her body back then was simply the prelude to the gorgeous woman before him.

"You can either wipe that lecherous look off your face or have it done for you," Asuka spat. She was still on her first glass while he nursed his fourth. "I will NEVER sleep with you."

"Never crossed my mind."

'Yeah, right,' he thought to himself. He was willing to put up with her abrasive personality just to bed her once. It was as if she was a sculpture with all the right proportions. He briefly wondered if she had thought herself into that body after rejecting Instrumentality. After all, he had come back in one piece with no missing limbs. Yet before he could either pursue the thought or start breaking down her defenses, she figuratively soaked him with cold water.

"So what happened with you and Hikari?"

"Nothing."

Asuka remained silent as their server laid the lavish meal before them. Leaving her wine glass alone, she picked up the one with water. The blandness helped focus her and she started eating, amazed at the taste. Only when she had eaten a good portion did she turn her attention back to her host. His eyes were not on her breasts where they had started but locked on hers.

"Has she said anything?" he hesitantly asked.

"Maybe."

Touji ground his teeth until his jaw ached but remained quiet. All delusions of coaxing the redhead into bed disappeared. He hated her arrogance, but she was entitled to it for being so smart. What he despised the most was how she treated some things as a game. He knew that he was going to tell her things he hadn't told others just to get a tidbit from her.

"Please tell me, Asuka," he almost begged.

The rush of triumph was short-lived as she saw his pain. Then she remembered her own agony, Shinji's, and Hikari's. Still her resolve didn't abandon her; it just flexed. Touji needed to confront his part in his own torment just as she had done last June.

"Do you think having dinner with her every now and then will do anything?" she questioned. "Hurts knowing she isn't close, doesn't it?"

"What do you know?"

Asuka laughed bitterly. "Did you forget what I went through with Shinji and vice versa?" She leaned across the table. "But unlike you two we finally told each what we felt."

"You came back for him."

"I came because of him, because I wanted something from him. And because I wanted to give him something in return."

"You still can't say it." He smiled thinly. "All bluster…"

"We're talking!" she interrupted. "Unlike you two!"

"I cheated on her and she cheated on me. We've had multiple partners." He lowered his voice before continuing. "How do you get over that?"

"She wants to be with you again."

- - - -

Asuka leaned against the doors of the elevator and pinched the bridge of her nose. Too much had happened in the day for her to deal with for the moment. Dinner with Touji might've been a mistake. It wasn't as if she didn't have her own relationship difficulties. So why was she willing to get involved in Hikari and Touji's troubles.

"I'm not a damn counselor," she muttered walking down the hall.

Shaking her head, she reached in her jacket pocket for her keys and froze. A tremor raced through her body as a person stepped away from her apartment door. It took all her willpower to stand in one place and wait. However, once the person had come close enough for Asuka to see exactly whom it was she acted.

There was no slow buildup like earlier in the day. One moment the hallway was empty except for the two women. The next a humming octagonal wall of dull orange light separated the two. Yet the azure-haired woman was indifferent to the barrier before her. She simply stared quizzically at Asuka, waiting.

"Strange," Rei stated. "You force away those that care about you and let those that want to hurt you through."

"Shut up!" Asuka spat. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"The Light of your Soul."

Asuka realized her mistake earlier in the day. The three of them were attuned to each other able to feel one another's AT-Fields. If Shinji had been within a half mile of her, he would've felt her. Rei being who she was could detect it from farther away. Moreover, she had done it at practically pointblank range.

"It wasn't an invitation!"

"You were following me."

"I wasn't sure."

The azure-haired woman was silent at that before giving her opponent a knowing smile. Walking up to the humming barrier, she placed a hand against it and pushed. Asuka gritted her teeth, pouring her willpower into strengthening her AT-Field. For her effort, she received a cry when Rei pulled her hand back. Anger briefly flared in crimson eyes.

"Why do you hate me?"

"Because you're not Rei, Lilith!" the redhead barked. "You think we never knew who you truly were. Shinji isn't stupid and neither am I.

"I am Rei Ayanami."

"Bullshit! You took and absorbed her soul, overwhelming everything that made her her. Then you stole her body." Asuka smiled sadly. "If you were really Rei I think I could've been your friend."

"You don't understand," Lilith whispered. "We are one and the same. The girl whom you knew was I. It was my soul but without my memories. Third Impact allowed me… us to be complete once again." She stepped up to the barrier. "I came back because of you two."

Asuka angrily shook her head. "Don't give me that crap!"

"Why is it that you can't accept the truth?"

The woman once again stepped up to the barrier and placed her hand on it. Yet this time there was no flash of conflicting souls. Asuka whimpered as a thick fluid trickled out her nose when she hemorrhaged. Even when black spots appeared in her vision, she didn't waver. Still, it was a vastly weakened field that flickered in the hallway.

It didn't matter to Lilith as first her hand then her arm and soon the rest of her body slid through the barrier. Her heart wrenched at the whimper from the redhead and she felt tears slide down her face. She shuddered when she felt the Field finally disintegrate behind her. Walking slowly, she approached the drained Asuka who fell weakly against her.

Carefully placing the taller woman on her back, she rummaged through her purse. With gentleness people from junior high would've doubted existed in Rei, she wiped away the blood. All the while, she was aware of sky-blue eyes studying her intensely. When she was finished, she sat, cradling Asuka's head.

"Why do you do this to me?" Asuka weakly asked.

"What do I do?"

"Confuse me."

"The people I dine and sleep with are lost souls and outcasts." Lilith explained. "They've returned but still feel incomplete and lost. They've never known real love or acceptance. So for a single night I give them what they look for, like those you saw me with."

She glanced up. "You don't understand the memories I've absorbed. The hurt cruelly projected upon others. Or the pain people inflict cause themselves."

"Rei…"

"I hate seeing it in strangers, but it's worse when it comes from you, or Shinji, and everyone I knew before," she murmured. "But I can tolerate it."

Asuka's eyes widened when Rei bent over. "What are you…?"

"I can tolerate it because you're all trying. The love you project is so pure."

The redhead struggled to break free but she couldn't. "Why…"

"Because I love you."

Rei kissed Asuka.

/ \ / \ / \

I don't write for the reviews or views, but come on people. A ratio of 134:1 is the worst of all my stories. And after not having wirtten for so long, I need the criticism. Oh well, nothing I can really do about it. This will be the only time I'll complain about it.

OmegaReaper - I'll try to get back to the way I wrote before, but after two years my writing style has shifted. For better or for worse, I don't know.


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